Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day: Proven Secrets of the Potty Pro [toilet training] - Softcover

potty parties are in!

To every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.

-- MARY POPPINS

Every day I'm besieged by telephone calls from moms who are confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed. Mostly they're at wit's end. They beg me for the secrets to potty training their children. And no matter what their particular potty woes might be, how long they've been trying to train their child, or how harrowing their bathroom battles, I invariably recommend a single, one-size-fits-all solution: Have a One-Day Potty-Training Party!

Kids love parties. In Toddler-Speak, a party means fun, games, cake, candy, presents, and prizes. For a two- or three-year-old, it doesn't get much better than that.

In Mom-Speak, a party can mean a fun way to motivate your child to learn a new behavior -- in this case using the toilet. Giving your toddler motivation is critical to your success because when it comes to becoming toilet trained, most kids have absolutely no incentive. None. And when you look at it from their perspective, why would they? Life experience has proven that it's fast, easy, and convenient to go in their diapers.

No matter how much you want your child to trade in her Huggies for big-girl underpants, chances are she will remain blissfully unmotivated by your desire or concern. Plus, if a child has had a negative experience with the potty, it can be even more challenging to entice him to try it again.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, helping the 11 million children under the age of four through the potty-training process can be one of the toughest challenges for parents. Learning to use the potty is a key milestone in a child's development. Unlike other milestones associated with walking or talking, however, this developmental hurdle tends to be a source of considerable concern for both parent and child. A stressful potty-training period can damage a parent/child relationship and injure a child's self-esteem. But when this hurdle is successfully negotiated with a minimum of contention, it fosters a child's sense of independence and accomplishment.

The One-Day Potty-Training Party is a fun, time-tested method for achieving potty-training victory. In the fast-paced, overscheduled, multitasking society in which we live, parents need a training tool that will teach them how to potty train their child in one day. The cost savings alone are enough incentive for most parents. And U.S. Census Bureau statistics indicate that American women are increasingly having more than two children. Even with our frantic schedules, we can attack this parenting challenge in an organized, structured fashion, with help from a tested routine. And as this book will demonstrate, that means a well-planned and exciting potty party!

There are a number of driving forces behind the push for quick and effective potty-training programs:

• Most preschools in the United States mandate that children cannot be promoted to the next level unless they are potty trained.

• Today, a mere 13 percent of America's families fit the 1950s model of husband as breadwinner and wife as homemaker. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, more than 60 percent of all marriages, 45 percent of the working population, are dual-career marriages. And nearly two-thirds of America's children attend some sort of out-of-home care on a regular basis.

• According to the Children's Hospital Guide to Your Child's Health and Development, 40 percent of three-year-olds still use diapers.

• Thirty-nine states and the District of Columbia spend a total of more than $1.9 billion a year on some sort of prekindergarten.

• The National Center for Health Statistics has reported that the number of women of childbearing age giving birth to three or more children rose 7 percent to 18.4 percent.

• A National Catalyst research survey found that more than 80 percent of new mothers return to the labor force within six months of childbirth.

I came up with the idea for a one-day potty-training party when I was desperate to toilet train my son Spencer so that he could be enrolled in preschool. Although at the time I felt like I was the only mother facing this challenge, I've since discovered that there are millions of moms in the same tight spot as I was in three years ago. According to the U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Report, there are approximately 20 million parents with 11 million children under the age of four, and more than 4 million of those are currently enrolled in a nursery or preschool program where children often are not permitted to move up to the next level until they have been successfully potty trained. So even though the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that there is no set age to begin potty training, the majority of preschool programs won't accept a three-year-old who isn't potty proficient.

In a nutshell, the One-Day Potty-Training Party is based on solid toilet-training information and advice. But instead of a drawn out battle between parent and child, it's a one-day theme party where your child is the center of attention. Whatever theme you choose, the potty party is designed to be fast-paced, fun, and rewarding. Best of all, it works!

The Potty Party Has One Primary Goal

Make learning to use the potty fun by making the potty party one of the most exciting and rewarding days in your child's life.

The Potty Party Is Divided into Three Parts

PART ONE

Give your child a new doll (preferably one that "wets") and the three of you have a party. While playing games, reading books, and watching potty-training videos, you teach the doll how to use the potty. Your child learns about the potty and how to use it by helping you teach his or her doll.

PART TWO

The theme party continues, but now the focus shifts to your child using the potty. Plenty of fun and rewards are built into this part of the party so that your child wants to use the potty and feels good about his or her success.

PART THREE

To celebrate your child's success, the party expands to include Dad, brothers and sisters, grandparents, and other close relations. Everyone congratulates your child for potty training his or her doll and for using the potty.

Since emerging from my own potty wars, I have gathered lots of knowledge and experience about potty training and throwing potty parties. By talking with child psychologists, parents, caregivers, professional party planners, and graduates of my Potty-Training Boot Camp, I have pulled together all the essential steps and vital ingredients to make a potty-training party a wonderful success. I include all the details and guidelines for planning and throwing the potty party in chapters five and six. But before you can begin planning the party and preparing your child for the big day, you need to determine whether he is physically and mentally ready for toilet training. And just as important, you need to determine whether you are ready! Don't even think about taking away your child's diapers before you take the readiness quiz in chapter two!

What Does It Mean to Be Potty Trained?

Everyone seems to have a different answer to this question. Rather than getting caught in the debate of who's right and who's wrong, I measure a child's potty-training success on a range from "not potty trained" to "totally potty trained."

When I launched my mission to toilet train my son, I asked (okay, begged) other moms to divulge their secrets to potty-training success. After a little probing, I often discovered that their child really wasn't potty trained at all, at least not by my understanding of the term. Basically, the child would go potty only if the mom undressed her, told her to sit on the potty, and waited, waited, waited, and waited a little more. Sometimes the child would go and sometimes she wouldn't. And as you might guess, accidents were part of the daily routine.

Well, call me crazy, but this version of toilet trained sounds more like a work in progress. Even so, it's important to remember that just getting a toddler to sit on the toilet and try can be a milestone on his path to being totally toilet trained.

Your toddler is totally potty trained when he can get in and out of the bathroom himself, get his pants down and back up again, clean his backside adequately, and wash his hands -- all with minimal assistance. I have to tell you that when I first read this definition, it just increased my sense of frustration. I couldn't even get my son to sit on the potty. Getting him totally toilet trained seemed like an impossible dream. That's why it's important to celebrate every successful step. If your child can recognize that she has to use the bathroom -- and tell you she needs to go in enough time for you to get her on the potty -- that's a very successful step!

Waging the Potty War

Frankly, I was desperate. I'm not too proud to admit it. I was stressed out of my mind. The fact that toilet training is supposed to happen when our children are toddlers -- at the height or on the heels of the Terrible Twos -- seems like a cruel irony. At this age, getting a child to do anything she doesn't want to do can rapidly turn into a drama. So toilet training can be nothing short of traumatic. In our house, the potty battles escalated until we were engaged in what could only be called an all-out potty war! The fact that our son was winning made our efforts seem even more futile.

Here's what happened. When Spencer was about two and a half years old my husband, Kyle, and I bought him a potty-chair, set it in the bathroom, and told him (with enthusiasm) that he was a big boy now and it was time for him to learn to use the potty. And so began the first chapter of our potty-training saga. Nearly every day one of u...