Not Exactly a Love Story

AUDREY COULOUMBIS's first book for children, Getting Near to Baby, won the Newbery Honor in 2000.

Just as the title promises, this is a romance—sort of. Fifteen-year-old Vinnie happens upon the phone number of his crush, Patsy, and calls her at midnight only to blurt out the kind of vulgar statement that would make an obscene phone caller proud. He calls again, once more at midnight, to apologize. So begins a strange dial-a-relationship between two teens who come to realize their similarity: “If I’m screwed up it’s okay, because we both are.” Vinnie keeps his identity secret—he thinks of his confident phone persona as “Vincenzo”—but Patsy is angling to meet at the masked Valentine’s Day dance. If you’ve seen your share of teen movies, you know what’s afoot: Patsy develops an interest in the real Vinnie and begins discussing him with Vincenzo. What to do?! There are a number of plot and character stretches here, and Patsy’s interest in her phone stalker never quite washes. However, the general lack of serious incident and sprinkling of family drama mark this for what it is: a light, diverting read that goes down easy. Grades 8-11. --Daniel Kraus