First Digs: The Quasi-Adult's Guide to Decorating with Style---Without Blowing Your Budget - Softcover

YEE-FAN SUN, a graduate of Harvard University, is the founder of www.digsmagazine.com, an online magazine that provides practical home and living information for the "post-college, pre-parenthood, quasi-adult generation." 
 

First Digs
chapter onechoose your own (living) adventureit was so easy back in the college dorm days. Fill out some forms, submit them to the random gods of housing assignment, cross your fingers, and hope for the best. In the post-dorm phase of life, however, finding a roof over your head involves just a little more work. Sure, your parents dropped hints aplenty about how you're always welcome to move back into your old bedroom--and hey, maybe you've even taken them up on the offer, bunking down in your twin bed and biding time while you wait for some sign regarding what to do next. But when you get tired of sneaking your significant other out of your bedroom each morning, when Mom tells you one too many times to drive carefully as you leave to meet your friends in the city, when the Pearl Jam poster that you tacked above your bed back in eighth grade comes tumbling down atop your head one night, you'll know: It's time to strike out on your own and get your first real apartment.But before you start packing up that moving van, there are just a few things you'll need to consider. Should you throw in your lot with some roommates, brave it solo, or maybe move in with your sweetie? How much rent is too much? And how do you know when you've found the right apartment, anyway? With questions aplenty dancing in your head, a tinyknot of panic begins to build. But quit hyperventilating: We're here to help you find your way.share and share alike: living with roomiesWhen you've lived your whole life thus far in the hivelike coziness of a dorm or the family nest, the outside world can seem like a big, lonely place. lumping straight into your own digs seems particularly intimidating when a quick glance through the newspaper rental ads reveals that for an alarmingly large chunk of your rather modest monthly salary, you can live in a closet, in a basement, or in a part of town you'd be scared to drive through in broad daylight. The solution to your predicament? Get thee some roommates.Sharing digs with other folks means you can get a much bigger, much nicer place than you would likely be able to afford all by your lonesome. Other costs of living become cheaper as well; running utilities for two costs about the same for one, and with other people around to potentially split kitchen duties, you might find you're a whole lot more likely to actually cook in-house rather than resort to overpriced takeout.Even if the quirks of your college housing lottery have made you leery of having to deal with roommates ever again, living with roommates in the postschool years really can be a good thing for more than just your economic state. Yeah, so that nice girl you bunked with freshmen year turned out to be a raging klepto and pathological liar, and the former friend you lived with the following year drove you bonkers with her tendency to pilfer your Ring Dings, but these days, you're older, wiser, and most of all, more experienced: You know a little something about what you are really looking for in a roommate.Now if you haven't already experienced the problems of living with good friends, you might think your safest bet is to move in with someone you know and love. But think long and hard before you leap into a lease with your oldest, best friend. Fuming when your buddy takes fifty minutes in the bathroom each morning, getting passive-aggressive about the ever-presentstack of someone else's dirty dishes, getting nagged when you forget (okay, again) that it's your turn to take out the trash: This is the stuff that's ruined many a fine friendship. There's way too much that can go awry when folks who have a great time hanging out together decide to share a roof ... without taking that all-important step of considering each person's actual living style first.Some of my very favorite people in the world are a little wacky. They keep strange hours, voluntarily getting up to tap away on their laptops in the wee hours of the night, doing a three-hour nap/three-hour wake schedule, or going days on end without any bedtime at all. They have bizarre hobbies that make their homes look like little museums of their personal obsessions. They're always finding themselves in some crazy situation with some new guy, or new girl, or every once in a blue moon, both. They're full of marvelous little quirks that make them endless sources of fascinating stories, and I always look forward to spending time with them. And a big part of the reason this is possible is because I don't have to live with their nuttiness day in and day out. And they don't have to put up with mine.Seriously, the qualities that you look for in a friend (fun, funny, always up to something interesting) aren't necessarily the same ones you should seek in a roommate (of the same cleanliness level as you, able to pay all bills on time and willing to do so of their own volition). Yes, sometimes good friends can make great roommates, particularly if both you and the friend-cum-potential-roomie are the sort of adaptable, low-maintenance individuals who are blessed with the amazing ability not to let other people's weirdnesses bug you. But unless you're fully confident that you and your pals genuinely share similar views on such mundane matters as washing dishes, vacuuming, noise levels, and fiscal responsibility, it's often safer to keep your friends as friends and look elsewhere for someone to share your abode.When you're moving in with a stranger, it's a beautiful clean slate: No one is bringing any baggage into the situation, allowing you all to be much more open from the very beginning about what you expect. You don't have to feel like a total jerk when you tell your stranger-roomie that you're not real keen on significant others becoming nonpaying tenants, the way youmight feel if this were your good friend instead and you were talking about her boyfriend who you already knew and liked. Money issues are also way less uncomfortable to broach with people with whom you share no history. And additionally, there's the fun factor of simply getting to know a new person--who might eventually turn into as great a friend as she is a roommate, if you're lucky.where to find 'em ...Once you've decided to get yourself into the roommate market, it's time to start putting out the feelers. Good, old-fashioned word-of-mouth is still the best place to start, as it's 100 percent free and involves almost no extra effort on your part. After all, you talk to people on a regular basis, don't you? Casually mention to any and everyone who'll listen that you're looking for a roommate. Your officemate might have a sister who's looking to share a pad; your mom might have a friend whose son is freaking because his roommate just bailed mid-lease. The waitress accidentally eavesdropping on your lunchtime conversation might overhear your plight and tell you that she and her roommates just happen to have an extra room in their group house that they've been trying to rent out for ages. You never know who might know someone that might just be your perfect future roommate.While you're doing your networking, you'll also want to take more active steps to find someone to room with. When you're looking to move into your first apartment, this will likely mean finding someone who already has a specific place and is looking for someone to split the costs. The classifieds section in your local paper is the obvious place to look; you'll also want to try out online resources like craigslist.org or roommates.com, your favorite message board, and roommate matching Web sites. Neighborhood bulletin boards--in the cafe, bookstore, used CD shop, wherever--are another good potential lead. And hey, if you spy an ad at your favorite coffee hangout, you at least know that you and your potential roomie share similar tastes in java joints. Last but not least, if all else fails, you can always look to a roommate referral service for a little help from the pros.the interviewSo you've spotted a promising ad and are all geared up to take the next step. Before you reach for that telephone or shoot off an e-mail inquiry, think a little about what questions you'll need to ask. This first point of contact will be a sort of prescreening interview in which you'll want to cover the basics regarding the potential living situation, to make sure this is something that actually fits both your needs. How much is the rent? How big is the apartment or house and how many people will be living there? How old are they? (If that's important to you.) What do they do? (Likewise.) Where is the apartment located? If you have any deal-breaking issues, like smoking or pets, bring those up at the beginning as well to avoid wasting too much of your time and theirs.If the initial phone conversation or e-mail exchange goes well, it's time to meet up in person. Anxious as you are to get your living situation settled, you might think it easiest to just get together with your prospective roomie at the apartment. And in an ideal world, where there were no potential stalkers or otherwise scary folk to contend with, you might be right. But while the vast majority of people you will encounter on your roommate search will be perfectly nice, more or less law-abiding citizens, it's better to be cautious. Set up that meeting in a public place, and let a friend know where you'll be. If all goes well and you feel comfortable with the prospective roommates, you can then move on to the actual apartment viewing.As you progress on the decision-making front, you'll need to start talking seriously about the nitty-gritty of day-to-day rooming. Be direct about what you're looking for and answer any of their questions as forthrightly as possible. If you're a total slob, fess up now, and likewise if you're a controlling neat-freak who demands daily vacuuming and semiweekly dusting. Other general issues that you might want to bring up in the course of your gabbing include:What kind of hours do they keep? If you're a light sleeper, this will be an issue. If you demand regular beauty rest between ten and six, and yourpotential roomie is nocturnal, it's probably not going to work out for you two. 
Do they work fairly regular hours? Will their work take them out of town much? Depending upon what you're looking for in a roommate, these can be important factors. If you want a roomie to keep you from getting lonely, you'll need someone who's going to be around during the same hours that you are. If, on the other hand, you're just looking for someone to help split the costs, then opposite schedules can be dandy, as you'll often have the pad all to your sweet self. 
How do they feel about dealing with one another's overnight guests? Do either of you have a significant other that will be spending time over on a regular basis? Will that significant other be contributing to the rent and other shared living costs? 
What are their thoughts on how to split chores and bills?Ultimately, you'll be paying as much attention to the overall feel of your interactions as any of the actual questions and answers exchanged. You want your roommate to be someone you can easily talk to--because if you're finding it hard talking about just the preliminary, getting-to-know-you type fluff, you're going to have a hell of a time bringing up the tough issues once you're actually living together.Whatever happens, don't make a choice out of desperation. No matter how grim the roommate prospects might seem at the beginning, wait it out till you find someone with whom you can really click--not necessarily as soul mates but on the fundamental issues of sharing a roof.make it a single: living soloIf you're the sort of person who wants things the way you want them, there's no doubt about it: Solo living's the way to go. No one to monopolize the bathroom when you really, really need to go; no one to clutter up your coffee table with periodicals you have no interest in reading; no one to give you the evil eye when you don't do the dishes immediately after using them. You can crank up the stereo at one in the morning and dance in the kitchen, in your undies, in the dark--and that's a-okay, because there's no one around for you to answer to except your little old self. You're the only one living under that there roof.And that's the part that can be a little scary, too.There are many circumstances under which you might find yourself facing the prospect of living all on your own--and let's be honest now, not all of them are strictly voluntary. Maybe you've moved to a new city where you don't know a soul, and the idea of sharing digs with potential psychopath strangers seems an even bigger risk than setting out solo. Maybe you've been hunting for roommates, but just haven't had any luck. Maybe a brief experience with shared housing has made you realize that you're way too neurotic for anyone else to have to put up with your many, many issues. For whatever the reason, living alone seems to make sense, but you can't quite shake the fear that living with roommates somehow seems easier.To some extent, you're right: For all that communal living can be a gargantuan pain in the behind, there's something kind of reassuring about knowing that if anything goes wrong in the apartment, you don't have to deal with it alone. Think you hear a noise outside the door? Wake up the roomie and get him to reassure you that you're just imagining things. Toilet's flooding and you don't know what to do while you wait for the superintendent to take his sweet ol' time getting up there to take a look? Run to the roomie for advice ... or at least commiserate. Even ordinary everyday issues, like making sure the trash gets taken out on time and keeping the house from degenerating into a total slum, become a whole lot more manageable when there's another human or two around to keep your less positive living habits in check. When you're living solo, you have no one to rely on except yourself.Still, if that's the only thing that's stopping you from stepping into solo life, take the jump. Because the greatest thing about living on your own isn't the decorating freedom or the lack of nagging, but the big self-confidenceboost that you get when you realize that you really are fully capable of taking care of yourself.Money matters are perhaps the biggest factor in determining whether you're really ready to go it solo. Bear in mind that in addition to rent, you'll be shouldering the full burden of telephone, gas, electricity, and water, as well as acting as sole investor in any and all furnishings. Depending on your financial situation, you might find you have to settle for a studio apartment or live farther out from the excitement than you had intended in order to make living alone a feasible reality.safety firstWhen you're looking for new digs in a place you plan to live in alone, safety issues become an even bigger priority than usual. Making do with a more modest apartment is fine, but if it means having to live in a very sketchy neighborhood, you might want to rethink your solo living plans and wait till your money situation permits you to live in a place where you don't fear for your life each time you peek out the door.As you make the rounds on your apartment hunt, pay special attention to how comfortable you'll feel coming home alone, sometimes late at night, to those digs. Visit the neighborhood well after the sun goes down before you commit to calling it h...